By the End of My Life:

• I want to have made every decision I ever wanted to make and have no regrets about the past.

• I want to have left something behind that outlives my life and that continues to make a difference in the world (mainly my teachings, films, writings, and future children).

• I want to have left the world a much more loving, compassionate, understanding, and forgiving place.

• I want to have found laughter and beauty everywhere possible.

• I want to have given everything I could’ve given in all my years on earth.

Promises to an Older Self:

• To always fill my room and office with mementos of loved ones (whether photos of them or cards and letters from them)–NOT diplomas, degrees, and awards. My greatest pride is in the love I have given and the love that has been given to me, not in my achievements and titles. Framed plaques don’t fully symbolize the ways I grew or capture my fondest memories. That credit always belongs to the people I’ve met along the way.

• To continue being curious about the world, life, and the people around me. To continue to read and write. To continue to teach and learn.

• To know that when I come home from work really tired and my kids rush towards me and nearly pull me down to the floor with their excitement, that these moments won’t last for long and that I should cherish the few years they’ll be doing that.

• To romance my wife in old age. To be content and appreciative of our changed type of love but still pursue her as if we were dating. Every day, to make her feel as loved as ever and desirable beyond measure.

• For my wife and I to be that set of grandparents whose gentleness, wisdom, and stories make kids wonder where we get our sense of caregiving from.

• For my wife and I to be that couple whose laughter, adventure, and joy of life make people wonder where we get our energy from.

• To continue to tell everyone what they’ve meant to my life and to continue to hear what I’ve meant to their lives.

• To continue to remind myself every day that the greatest gift the world gives me is the awareness that I will have to die someday. With that, I make my life as full of peace, love, and happiness as possible and I make my existence as full of purpose as possible and as much of a legacy as possible.

1. family and friends
2. books
3. writing (to make it tangible: computer or paper+pencil)
4. music (to make it tangible: computer or mp3 player)
5.

So far on the island I would read and write all day. I would share my writing with people on the island, but I would also hope that it would get published and shared with the rest of the world as part of my legacy, especially after my death.

Music would accompany my reading and writing sessions, as well as my strolls around the island for nature walks. The music would also be an important part of nighttime festivities, especially dances.

And the people I love most would be there for my necessary interactions with other humans (and for the dances).

I already have a feeling I know what my fifth would be, but when I’m completely set on it, I’ll update this post.

(the photo: my grandparents with their grandkids. i’m the little rascal who wouldn’t stay in place. my brother is in checkers. the other two kids are my cousins. my sister jasmine and cousin tiffany weren’t born yet.)

yeah-yeah and i never had a long conversation with each other because of a slight language barrier (my limited chinese and his limited english), but we were still able to express ourselves with bits and pieces of chinese and english, with body language, and with touch. despite our not being close in the conventional sense, he was still one of my favorite relatives. i’ll always look up to his artistic ability, his calmness, and how he would never hurt a thing.

my mom and my sister were at his bedside in the hospital when he left this world. when he was approaching his death, my mom told him to wait for me.. and he started breathing again. i was supposed to visit him the next day, but he still left that evening =/

a few days after his death, a photo of him fell down from my desk shelf (the same picture i posted here). none of the other 50 pictures of family and friends ever fell.

yeah-yeah, thank you for everything you’ve done for the family, for your inspirational art that will continue to be passed around the world, and for just being you. we’ll miss you dearly.

- nathan

- i took the fung wah bus to new york city with connie. then my mom’s friend drove me home to new jersey.
- i got caught up with a lot of movies i’ve been wanting to watch and a lot of books i’ve been wanting to read.
- scattergories with my siblings jasmine and jordon! jasmine totally owned us. my answers were too inappropriate.. and jordon’s were way too obscure.
- one of my friends, greg, who i haven’t talked to for years and years, found me on facebook.
- i went with my family to walk around princeton university.
- sleeeeep.
- endless snackage at home. mom’s home-cooking (especially the chinese soup she makes). new jersey buffets (why aren’t there any good and cheap ones in boston?).
- i saw connie again on the fung wah ride back to boston. mine was full.. so she had to go on the next bus. she was actually the cut-off point.. haha.