i had a test monday; a paper due wednesday; a quiz wednesday; a project to prepare, film, and edit; lots of reading to catch up on; a bunch of meetings and gatherings; and my grandpa’s funeral to go to on thursday. i barely slept each night, and i had to squeeze in short naps in my little free time just to prevent my eyes from burning. having teary eyes at the funeral and standing near a pot of burning incense didn’t help much either (at chinese funerals, we burn things like play money so the dead can spend it in heaven).

to top it all off, when i was getting back into the car at the cemetery, the corner of the swinging door left a bloody scratch under my right eye. after i bowed three times to grandpa in his coffin, traditionally i wasn’t supposed to look back at the coffin. so i was opening the door while staring at the ground, and the funeral car doors were heavier and longer than i expected. the top corner scratched my face and left me an apt reminder of the battle i survived this week.

at the end of the week on friday, i fell back on my own “religions”: Kindness, Hope, and Trust. (under religious views on my facebook profile, i have “Kindness, Hope, and Trust are the world’s greatest religions.” one of my friends, a writer for the daily free press, mentioned it in her article about faith last year.)

anyway, on friday, i pointed out a dropped ipod to its owner, i helped a random prospective student and his family find directions, and i helped out a (new?) resident with her mailbox in the mailroom. i usually do stuff like that, but more than ever, this time they were nice reminders that under all the hardships and adversity, there is still meaning in this hustle and bustle we call life.

i Hope things will get better. no, i Trust they will.

(the photo: my grandparents with their grandkids. i’m the little rascal who wouldn’t stay in place. my brother is in checkers. the other two kids are my cousins. my sister jasmine and cousin tiffany weren’t born yet.)

yeah-yeah and i never had a long conversation with each other because of a slight language barrier (my limited chinese and his limited english), but we were still able to express ourselves with bits and pieces of chinese and english, with body language, and with touch. despite our not being close in the conventional sense, he was still one of my favorite relatives. i’ll always look up to his artistic ability, his calmness, and how he would never hurt a thing.

my mom and my sister were at his bedside in the hospital when he left this world. when he was approaching his death, my mom told him to wait for me.. and he started breathing again. i was supposed to visit him the next day, but he still left that evening =/

a few days after his death, a photo of him fell down from my desk shelf (the same picture i posted here). none of the other 50 pictures of family and friends ever fell.

yeah-yeah, thank you for everything you’ve done for the family, for your inspirational art that will continue to be passed around the world, and for just being you. we’ll miss you dearly.

- nathan