nathan chow:

I must not let this beautiful world just pass me by when I want to see and not just drive. Crashing—is it worth it?

- Nathan

three different passages by my film professor Ray Carney in his book “Why Art Matters”:

“Life is mysterious, but its mysteries are entirely different from the mystifications in L.A. Confidential, Blood Simple, Blue Velvet, or Psycho. Their mysteries are shallow. They can be cleared up with a few words of explanation. Their puzzlements are trivial—matters of fact and event, of who did what to whom. Make a film about real mysteries, mysteries that don’t involve facts but feelings—like the mystery of who we are, the mystery of why we do hurtful things to ourselves and others, the mystery of why the effects of our actions can be so different from our intentions, the mystery of why we can never see ourselves as others see us.”

“Slasher pictures are too tame. Emotional violence is far worse than physical. Casual remarks cut more deeply than Freddy Kruger’s blades. The masks we wear are scarier than Jason’s—and don’t come off. The irrationality of our doubts and despairs is more frightening than any monster’s rampage.”

“Never forget that to be an artist is, above everything else, to be a truth-teller, one of the few left in a culture seized in a death-grip by media-induced fictions and journalistic cliches. You speak secrets no one else dares to whisper. You exist to share your most private feelings and personal observations with others. They are where truth lies. Don’t be afraid of being too personal, too private. Your most secret fears, your private doubts and uncertainties are everyone’s.”

thursday 4/3/08

the most awkward meal:

after the funeral, my family and relatives had lunch together. we had two tables in the restaurant, one for adults, the other for the kids.. and the undertakers decided to join the kids table.

i swear.. it was like a scene straight from a comedy movie. one undertaker was a chinese man who had a really dorky smile the whole time.. and the other two were big and serious american guys who seemed like his sidekick goons. during the first 10 minutes of the lunch, absolutely no one said anything at the table. meanwhile, all of us kids kept exchanging glances with each other, as if we were all thinking the same thing and at any time were about to crack up at how ridiculous the situation was.

my brother and i finally broke the silence by asking the chinese guy questions about chinese customs at funerals. when we ran out of questions, i asked the undertakers about their jobs and why they chose it.

tuesday 4/8/08

the most random thing:

at dinner with titi, miguel, alex o., chang, and ashley n., i was sitting at a table facing the swipe-in desk. one table separated mine from the swipe-in.. and two girls i didn’t know were sitting there. when i saw one of my friends swiping in, i waved at her.. and i guess the two girls i didn’t know thought i was flirting with them. they started giggling and whispering to each other. but i didn’t know it had anything to do with me until..

when they were leaving the dining hall, one of the girls came up to me and put a little raffle ticket on my table and said “call me.” i flipped the ticket over and saw “call me, babe! =)” with a phone number and “3rd floor!” written on it.

the friends i was sitting with were like.. wtf? minutes after the girls left, i used my friend’s cell phone to call the number. i was ready to play a joke back at the girls by pretending i was gay, but the person on the other line was a guy! i “flirted” with him and found out he also goes to BU.. so at least it wasn’t a random number. he was friends with the girls, but i couldn’t get him to tell me his name or the names of his friends.. haha.

thursday 4/10/08

the weather today was finally beautiful!

dinner with titi, giselle, giselle’s friend alex, and titi’s admissions guest sarah. i just met alex, but he remembers me from last year’s COM201 Coffeehouse Reading, where i was chosen with 3 other students out of 400 to read our memoirs as examples for students taking COM201 that semester. alex said he was able to identify with mine.

i’m so glad someone remembered my piece. one of my goals in life is to have my art – mainly my films and writing – inspire people and make a difference in the world. it doesn’t necessarily have to be featured in papers and be famous and whatnot, but as long as one person identified with it or was changed by it, i’m proud to have made it.

in the evening, we went to the GSU to watch the documentary “the price of sugar,” which is about sugar cane cutters in the dominican republic. we had a nice talk with the producer after the show.

afterwards, we went to “jamnesty” in the basement of the GSU, where i saw stephanie s., ankita, nishita, and lauren m.

later when the live band “spiritual rez” was performing, titi, sarah, lauren s., sid, and i danced together.

friday 4/11/08

i went to BU’s Campus Movie Fest finale. i was supposed to go with giselle, alex, and maria, but i wound up sitting with maria, erika, and clarissa.

we were sitting near my friend javier and his production group. they won “best drama”! congratulations, javi!

also congratulations to all my other friends who made a film, whether it made it to tonight’s top 16 or not. that would be too many to mention, but i’d like to say i really liked watching melody get chopped up in iris’s film! lol