nathan chow:

three different passages by my film professor Ray Carney in his book “Why Art Matters”:

“Life is mysterious, but its mysteries are entirely different from the mystifications in L.A. Confidential, Blood Simple, Blue Velvet, or Psycho. Their mysteries are shallow. They can be cleared up with a few words of explanation. Their puzzlements are trivial—matters of fact and event, of who did what to whom. Make a film about real mysteries, mysteries that don’t involve facts but feelings—like the mystery of who we are, the mystery of why we do hurtful things to ourselves and others, the mystery of why the effects of our actions can be so different from our intentions, the mystery of why we can never see ourselves as others see us.”

“Slasher pictures are too tame. Emotional violence is far worse than physical. Casual remarks cut more deeply than Freddy Kruger’s blades. The masks we wear are scarier than Jason’s—and don’t come off. The irrationality of our doubts and despairs is more frightening than any monster’s rampage.”

“Never forget that to be an artist is, above everything else, to be a truth-teller, one of the few left in a culture seized in a death-grip by media-induced fictions and journalistic cliches. You speak secrets no one else dares to whisper. You exist to share your most private feelings and personal observations with others. They are where truth lies. Don’t be afraid of being too personal, too private. Your most secret fears, your private doubts and uncertainties are everyone’s.”

tuesday 2/26:

i’m directing a 3-minute short film based on a scene in a little-known 10-minute play that was produced on stage only once. the project is for a 500-level film directing class, and the teacher is emphasizing director-actor relations and emotional realism more than technicalities. later when we film the projects, we’re using only consumer-level video cameras.

my actors jim and kelley performed the scene in class today. we’ve had only 3 meetings together, but i think they’re doing great. to “toughen us up” and to motivate changes for the actual film, my teacher (who has directed episodes of Law and Order) heavily criticized my direction, the scene, and the performances.

the scene is about two college kids who recently broke up. the guy goes to the girl’s dorm just to pick up class notes, but the girl wants him to stay longer – and she wants him back, regretting her decision to break up. she shows him her new belly button ring, which throws him off-guard because when they were going out, he was always telling her to get it. he’s lured into gently touching her belly button’s bruise, but he also tells her that she should take the ring out even if she “wants it now.” the film is an exploration of confusing desires, the ways we change after breakups, and bruised relationships.

wednesday 2/27:

i went to the monthly Student Activities Office (SAO) consortium meeting to represent the juggling club. one of the few meetings i missed was the one where we listened to people pitch ideas for clubs and voted on which would make it. i really wanted to do that, but i don’t think they’re gonna have it again until the beginning of next year.

thursday 2/28:

marisa: nathan, what’s your middle name?
sarah: it’s scott.
marisa: no it’s not.
nathan: why not?
marisa: it really is?
nathan: yeah.
marisa: but you’re chinese, right?
nathan: are you saying i have to be something like nathan mao zedong chow?

later in the conversation:
marisa: guess what my middle name is.
(her parents are from italy)
nathan: bella.
marisa: no.
sarah: just tell him. he’ll never guess it.
marisa: magnifica.
nathan: wait, what?
marisa: magnifica.
(i burst out laughing.)

later later in the conversation:
kayla: guess what my middle name is.
amy: it’s very black.
sarah: no, her first name is black.
nathan: shoniqua?
kayla: no.
sarah (singing): it’s kaaayla. kayla celeeeste. all the men waaant her… (sorry, i can’t capture the catchiness of her personal theme song here)

friday 2/29:

i had a very international dinner. it was with two guys from italy, one from bahrain, one from serbia, one from puerto rico, one from china… and one girl from.. illinois.

i love friday night naps after busy weeks.

saturday 3/1:

i went to the chinese student association’s spicy food contest. i didn’t compete because you had to pay a small fee.. and because it was as much a speed-eating contest as it was a spicy food contest. and you all know i’m THE slowest eater ever. but i was there for free samples.. and to root for some of my friends in it. my friend rahul ahuja actually won (juggler pride!). and while i was sitting in the audience, i met one of his friends ken, an old man who was his neighbor over the summer. we had a nice random conversation about epic filmmaking, Citizen Kane, and the Polish director Krzysztof Kieslowski.

the dining halls served chinese food today for chinese new year. the spring rolls, shui mei, and dumplings were good, but the chicken and beef were just ok. i wish they had duck, roast pork, and soup with black mushrooms, cabbage, and bean curd sticks (which is best when made by mom).

after dinner, i spontaneously followed sarah w. and marisa to the BU choral society’s “Spring POPS Concert” at CFA. we ran to catch the bus. well, actually we walked really fast. well, actually that was only me and marisa. sarah was probably busy preparing her next post-it weapon to use against me.

at the concert, i heard kayla, amy, and kelly sing (twice, cuz i was the only idiot who walked in on the rehearsal lol). all of them were awesome. i sat with sandy s., sarah, erin, marisa, and scott.

on the bus ride back to east campus, i had a staring contest with kayla and marisa. they couldn’t come close to winning. =P

later in the evening, miguel helped me videotape my juggling for a video project. i used my 3.2 MP digital camera’s video function and windows moviemaker to make a video for a 500-level post-production class… sad but true. i was mac-less, footage-less, and camcorder-less and couldn’t borrow a camera from COM or find time to use an editing suite. nonetheless, thank you so much, miguel!